More memories of getting fired 17 years ago …
After drying my tears for the 10th time, I felt brave enough to wake up my son, who was so thrilled to have a full-time mother again, or perhaps for the first time. I had better start him out on the right track.
"Good morning to you,
You live in a zoo.
I'm home every day now,
Just to bother you."
He just covered his head and rolled over. Dealing with a full-time mother might not be such a fun proposition after all.
So what? Now I'm inspired. I'll go into advertising and create some great campaigns.
"Lose your job? Lose weight, your appetite, hours of sleep and move into the Zombie State, where folks just like you can wonder aimlessly and without obligation. Bumper pads available at no additional cost."
Humor us unemployed — the shiftless and the slipless. Oh, well, I guess I don't need to go out and buy that new slip for work now.
And now the latest from the stock market.
"Stock in panty hose took a major plunge in trading yesterday after an unexplained and significant drop in sales. Analysts are still trying to untangle the panic situation. If sales continue their spiral, it could spell the end of the industry and how it is run."
The energy company reported unusual activity this week.
"Consumption of gas and electricity nearly doubled yesterday. There was an unexplained demand on the system which nearly created massive brown-outs throughout the city. Speculation included excessive use of stoves for baking, gas to heat water, and electricity to power clothes dryers and stereo sound systems. More details at 10."
Yes, it was me.
More tomorrow …
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