"Women" #1

My 26-year-old son has been dating a nice gal since July 4 of last year. As I looked at a photo of them the other day, I was reminded of a conversation he and I had a decade ago while we were running errands …

He surprised me when he muttered the single word, “Women.”

“What about them?” I asked.

“They drive me crazy.”

“In what way? C’mon, you can tell me. I’m a woman. I can take it like a man.”

Certain that I had won him over with a well-timed grin, I gestured for him to continue.

With a teen-age sigh, he repeated the same line uttered by millions of men before him, “I don’t understand them.”

“Well, honey,” I offered, “it’s a good thing you’re admitting it now. It’ll save you a ton of grief later on.”

“Mom!”

"No, I’m serious,” I said. “You asked my advice, so here it is. Number one, they say one thing and do another. Number two, they expect you to read their mind. Then they’ll tell you ‘I didn’t want that. You should’ve known better.’ ”

“Oh, like you told Dad this morning?”

“You got it,” I said. “Number three, they say, ‘nah, you don’t have to do that,’ like give them flowers or little gifts, but you’d better.”

“Oh, like Dad buying you roses for Valentine’s Day this year?”

“Yes, he was smart. Anyway, number four, don’t forget birthdays and anniversaries. Forget your own before you forget hers. And if you buy her something, make it a personal gift, not appliances or something for the house. Your dad learned that one the hard way."

Continued tomorrow …