It's OK to cry at funeral homes

As I get older, it seems like I'm attending more visitations and funerals. One of the most noticeable changes has been the informality during the block of hours in which families accept friends of the family and/or deceased. Whereas I remember the quiet, solemn lines of folks dressed up with nary a whisper, the visitors are much more informal these days, conversing, smiling, even laughing and many times attired in comfortable everyday clothing, including jeans. Visitations and funerals have become family gatherings, almost like a reunion in the park without the baked beans and hot dogs.

After standing in a particularly long line this week for a dear friend beloved by many, I, too, was one of those engaged in conversation about the everyday stuff and embracing some friends I hadn't seen in a while. I actually welcomed the "distractions," because a part of my heart deeply mourned the loss of this friend. I had already shed several tears and hoped to make it through the line without succumbing to them again.

However, about six feet before my husband Roger and I reached the family to extend our condolences, the pain of loss again attacked my tear ducts and released the waterfall. As it was now our turn, I smiled and told the family with a smile that I was trying to regain my voice to console them on their loss. They smiled and shared the tissue box they kept close at hand.

At first, I felt kind of silly, because in the growing crowd, I didn't see anyone else shedding tears. But I suddenly didn't care as Roger and I reached the open casket, in which my dear friend was now finally at rest. My tears fell as steadily as Roger's hand that patted and rubbed my back in comfort.

The emotions that decorated my flushed face were evident as we exited past the growing crowd, but I didn't care. I decided to take my own advice that it's OK to cry when something far more important tugs deeply at your heart and soul, especially the loss of someone who had given my life so much love and inspiration.

It's OK to cry at funeral homes. The operators understand … and they also buy tissues in bulk for people like me.

Thank you, thank you.