A caregiver shared with me this short, yet sad, description of a recent evening with her husband who has Alzheimer's:
"He asked for quiet last night - he was tired of my voice - so shut up. I did and turned the lights and TV off at 7."
Yep, persons with Alzheimer's may throw those kind of curves at you when you ask the simplest of questions, "Are you okay?" or say "That was interesting" or "Let's eat some dinner" or even "Hello."
Sometimes you speak to hear a human voice, satisfied even if it's only yours.
Often I get tired of hearing motivational speakers tell us that we completely control how we respond to outside stimuli, you know, what people say and do. Yes, we can filter out a lot of junk and should, but some slips in when we least expect.
We can rationally blame the disease, but it still hurts at a point far deeper than we can fathom. It's that darn result of being human.
So, if the person with Alzheimer's wants quiet, give it to 'em. You can accept it as a gift to allow your own mind to rest after a long day … Or you can close the door and go somewhere else in the house and do whatever you want.
It's okay no matter what YOU decide.
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