Wishing for a butter memory

Did you ever notice in a restaurant how pats of butter are usually wrapped individually in silver or gold foil when they're served with rolls or bread?

Sometimes they're solid from being refrigerated immediately before they're served, or they're kind of soft because they've been out for a while.

However you prefer yours, that shiny packaging often makes me think of fancy candy hidden inside, kind of tempting. Yes, it ruins many a diet because a lot of folks who use butter at the restaurant table wouldn't do the same at home. I guess there's something about unwrapping that glittery package that makes us crave it more.

Now, I know it's butter inside. You know it's butter inside. It's a condiment, not an item eaten solo, though I have known a few people that put on a slab of butter that's larger than the food it's decorating.

Imagine someone with Alzheimer's or dementia who sees that in the bread basket. This person can't read anymore and isn't communicating much verbally, so they're not going to ask what it is.

What do they see? What does shiny paper wrapped around something small represent? Could it be candy? It's got to be something special and sweet, like the precious and delicious treats of childhood … or any stage of our lives.

Why on earth am I even talking about this? Because I recently saw a person with Alzheimer's open one of those shiny pats of butter and roll it off the wrapper like it was candy and eat it.

What do you do? Nothing. If they thought it was candy, so what. Must have been okay because they didn't make a face. Do you scold them? Make a scene? Heavens no!

This is one of those moments in caregiving that you just let it slide … though you might subtly move the basket a little bit away. This is one of those moments that you will better comprehend what Alzheimer's has taken from your loved one: the memory of the difference between candy and butter in a shiny packet. Tuck this single image in a special place in your memory because it will make you smile one day, many days, when you need a lift the most.