Planning the plan or living the life

It seems like life is all about planning.

Some of us plan the week's dinners, exactly what to pick up at the grocery store, our household chores, who's responsible for what in the family every day or week.

Some of us map out detailed work duties and meeting schedules.

Some of us create elaborate vacation and travel plans that outline where we're going to be every minute, every hour, every day.

We're constantly told to make plans for the future … plan for the kids' education, retirement, even our own funeral.

As a society, we're expected to plan, plan, plan, plan … And those who do not conform by planning are either considered a burden to the rest of us or are chastised or relegated to a lower rung in the ladder of the hierarchy of humankind.

Yes, we do need some plans or the universe would fall into chaos.

And those of us who do plan, plan, plan, plan keep going, going, going, going according to plan until … life doesn't go according to plan.

Is it any wonder why we endure a sudden shock to the system when that happens, when job loss, squabbles, accident, illness or death wields a pencil so big that it erases everything jotted in our daily planners or scribbled on the refrigerator to-do list. And we stare in dismay over what to write or do next.

How tolerable are we to the daily challenges of individuals who have no control over how their day is going to flow? That can and has happened to all of us at some time.

How we make plans to accomplish certain things or go places or meet people but injury or illness shuts us down for the day even before it's even begun?

I think of the many families who cope with a loved one's Alzheimer's, brain injury, stroke, brain tumor-brain cancer or other serious condition, who have the best of intentions to accomplish a lot today, but their loved one's injury or illness didn't get the memo. They had a good day yesterday, but today … sorry, it's not going to go according to plan.

There are the couples who plan to attend the support group meeting but don't show up. There are the families who plan to go to the special events and have made reservations, but they have to cancel. I attended a gathering where a stroke survivor and caregiver were unable to be there, and a hotel clerk seemed a little flustered that we had to rearrange a few things. I explained to that clerk that strokes can change plans. Period.

Sometimes bad things come along and other people are just going to have to understand.

Sometimes good things come along and other people are just going to have to understand.

And sometimes we must seize the unexpected good days to cancel the plan on paper and do something fun and memorable. And thank goodness when we do because that's a far greater accomplishment in life than anything on the official plan.

We plan for everything except the unplannable … hmm, my spellcheck didn't plan on that word in its dictionary.