Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Caregiving: the loneliest occupation

A huge source of our strength and enjoyment of life is found in those people we love being around. As we go through life, our circle of friends evolves and grows with us. Friends give us comfort and share laughter and words of wisdom and absorb our tears. We need the interaction with each other to survive.

Today, more than ever, we have a group of individuals that is losing its social circles with each passing day, just at the time they need friends and family the most. Caregiving of a loved one is rapidly becoming the loneliest occupation in the world.

I spoke to a caregiver the other day, one who never realized just how isolating caring for her husband with Alzheimer's could be. She described how she broke down in her physician's office, tears of intense sadness, lamenting the loss of the everyday contacts that have helped preserve her "sanity" during the increasing challenge of caregiving. Without that vital outlet to bond with fellow human beings, she has lost a great deal of herself. Without the emotional connections, she has also felt the painful crumbling of her physical health.

If you don't buy the truth that our emotional and physical sides are intertwined, then talk to a caregiver of someone with Alzheimer's or another debilitating disease or injury. They will describe the painful loneliness that threatens to dismantle their hearts in every way. That's why we must be ever vigilant in caring for caregivers or else we risk losing them well ahead of the person with the disease or injury.

Think of the caregivers you know, the individuals you love. A small sacrifice of your time and energy can give the conversation about ordinary things they crave, the hand that wraps around theirs, the human connection they so desperately need.

Imagine if it were you in their place. What would or could you give?

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