He had no idea a holiday was on its way. Alzheimer's does that to a person, robs them of the history of holidays they had always enjoyed and celebrated.
A couple of months ago, I stopped by to visit a friend with Alzheimer's at the care facility where he now resides. He doesn't know me, but it doesn't matter. He didn't know me before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, so I certainly didn't expect him to remember me now. I was searching for a new way to engage him in conversation, something that would connect him with the world that still revolves around him.
"St. Valentine's Day is coming up," I said. His eyebrows arched as I continued. "Yes, all the hearts, bright red hearts, candy and flowers. I bet you used to buy your wife flowers for Valentine's Day because you loved her so much."
He smiled and nodded. "Yes, yes."
Hmm, I thought, why not march him through a parade of holidays and seasons.
"Then it will be spring. All the beautiful flowers will start to bloom. And then it will be Easter. Kids love to hunt for Easter eggs. And there was a song called 'Easter Parade.' " Well, he didn't break into song, but he was still maintaining eye contact.
"And then Memorial Day to remember the loved ones and the soldiers who have passed away. You were a sailor in World War II, weren't you?"
"Yes, I was." He sat a little straighter, and his grin widened.
"Yes, you were. And then it gets hot and it's summer. Whew! That old sun will be coming down. And then you know what's next?"
"What?" he asked.
"The 4th of July! A great time to sing patriotic songs." I can't sing, but that didn't keep me from starting a chorus of "I'm a yankee doodle dandy" to see what would happen.
We both smiled as he sang a couple of lines. Yep, those songs can remain deep within us even in the depths of Alzheimer's.
I continued the journey through the calendar … past Labor Day, fall, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wish now that I had initiated another song for that day but knew his attention span might be coming to an end.
"Then it's Happy New Year! And last week, you know what happened?"
"What?"
"That ground hog saw his shadow, and we've got six more weeks of winter."
"He did?"
"Yep, he did."
He smiled and then looked at his surroundings again, the activity room where others sat, paced, talked or slept … each in their own world controlled by Alzheimer's.
If only we could read their minds. If we could only comprehend what they see and think. If we could only cure this damn disease.
Standing, I smiled and thanked him for allowing me to visit. He repeated "bye" when I said it. He remained in his seat as I walked down the hall.
We had taken a journey that required no transportation or luggage or tickets. In a few minutes, we had walked through a calendar year, a stroll that made him smile and sing a patriotic tune.
Yes, it was a very good year.
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