A woman described how her husband broke down sobbing after he discovered he could no longer change a tire … a skill that he had mastered years ago as part of the male ritual of learning to drive and routine car maintenance.
Yes, it's a "guy thing."
However, his expression of deep sadness is part of the grief process and accepting loss, and it's okay. He's a stroke survivor, and this is one of those "moments of truth" a survivor must face periodically and work through. It is also a reminder of just how amazing his progress has been since that horrifying day of his "brain attack," what skills and abilities he has reclaimed or reshaped to better fit his new life.
Whether it's a loss caused by a brain injury or a stroke, an individual must recognize new limits and opportunities. Is a woman no longer a "real woman" because she can't perform certain household duties that were once her domain? Is a man no longer a "real man" if he can't perform certain household duties that were once his domain … like change a tire? Absolutely not!
Bless the "grown" man who cries because he's administering a deep cleansing of his soul. He will see himself and the world clearer when his tears dry.
We need the losses to better understand and appreciate the wins. That's not only a valuable credo for survivors but for all of us. If we do not fail occasionally, we will not learn how to savor the true value of success. That's why survivors may need some extra encouragement at times to remind them they're only a few steps from the next achievement …
Like asking for help to change that tire.
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