I've got my eye on you

I try very hard not to cross my arms when I'm standing and engaged in a conversation with someone. That supposedly sends a defensive message, but I want to reassure you that if I do that with you, it's because my arms hurt from my fibromyalgia and it's more comfortable to cross them gently than let them hang down. Or if I move them around a lot while I'm sitting and talking to you, I'm not rushing or ignoring you; I'm just seeking more comfort so that I can fully concentrate on what you're saying.

But when it comes to eye contact, that's a biggie.

I make eye contact because I want and need to, to make sure I'm connecting with you and your words and unspoken emotions. I'm an observer of human behavior, and that's an important part of my storytelling passion and skills. Recently, I came across someone who drove me utterly mad, because this person wouldn't keep eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time. (However, I didn't comprehend that as the reason for my madness until afterward.) Within minutes, I became frustrated, and then my body language was probably speaking noisy volumes like …

"HELLO!!!! You're not listening to what I'm saying!!!!!! What did I do wrong??????? What are you not saying?????"

Yikes! It was a half-hour after the conversation before my red face finally cooled to a less threatening shade in the crayon box. And I must have come across as over-reacting, which was not the way I had planned to be.

I'd actually been living a much calmer, focused, productive and happier life in recent months, or at least I thought I had, until this.

Nah. I'm going to continue my calmer, focused, productive and happier life and remind myself that no one can make me feel bad unless I give them permission. Sorry, no more permits will be issued for the remainder of this life.

That's I've Got My Eye on You 101.