Noon Christmas Eve, Peoria, Illinois …
I had to go out and pick up sliced cheese for an evening gathering. I'd have to join the long lines of other absentminded, last-minute shoppers. Bah humbug …
The gray on gray sky dumped seemingly endless raindrops on our heads here. And we were thankful it wasn't the snow the folks north, west and east of us were enduring.
For Christmas this year, I sent my wonderful and deserving husband Roger to spend the holidays with his family in Florida. Hmm, I guess it's the first time in 34 years that he and I haven't been together on December 25. Just realized that.
On the wet drive to the grocery store, I thought about families I know who are going through their first major holiday this month after the loss of a loved one or other difficult circumstances …
The husband, father and grandpa who is spending his first Christmas in a care facility because that wicked Alzheimer's took too great a toll on his devoted spouse and caregiver.
The two kids and widow who are spending their first Christmas without their fun-loving dad and husband because of merciless brain tumors.
A woman marking Hanukkah for the first time without her mother, one of her best friends, a source of courage, strength, inspiration and a gentle sense of humor.
The mom and dad who accepted the heartfelt gifts of ornaments from friends to decorate a tree in memory of their son, to tell the joyous story of a young man who left this world far too soon.
The widow who tries to understand why her husband passed away very unexpectedly from a heart attack, yet rejoices that her son in the military is home safe on leave for the first Christmas in several years.
As I waited on endless traffic in pursuit of mozzarella and swiss, I also recalled the glorious firsts I had witnessed this year …
The stroke survivor who sang "Amazing Grace" at stroke camp this fall and left all of us weeping and applauding.
The stroke survivor who climbed the wall higher at stroke camp than he did last year and earned a rousing cheer from everyone in the gym.
The stroke survivor who is learning to talk again by singing.
The young man at brain injury camp who got to dance again for the first time since an auto accident that also killed his brother.
The family with a loved one who has Alzheimer's and is finally pulling together to face this challenge.
As I pulled into the parking lot in search of a space, I again felt the hugs from just a few days earlier of my mom, dad and step-mom as if I were back home in Indiana hearing their words of love, support and how proud they are of me.
Then I suddenly remembered it was my mom-in-law's last Christmas 10 years ago. I was sad for an instant until I remembered how she was the poster child for the holidays, full of laughter and love and how she accepted a gift of dishtowels as if it were diamonds. She had loved seagulls and passed away in Florida, where she had always longed to live. Many a time, a seagull has suddenly appeared in my life to reassure me she's fine and still with me.
As a wave of loneliness threatened to dampen my spirits, I whispered, "I sure do miss you."
And as if I had been instructed, I suddenly looked skyward through my windshield and the rhythmic flipping of the wiperblades. Here in the Midwest winter sky flew a seagull.
Miracles happened! I RELAXED in a packed parking lot on Christmas Eve! I DIDN'T MIND standing in line for sliced cheese! I HUMMED all the way home amid the idiots who can't drive!
However, most important, I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of gratitude for all the individuals and families who have shared with me their soaring successes and shattering sorrows this past year. Each has taught me incredible and priceless life lessons so that I can translate them into the words I share with new audiences and friends, people who seek only a little compassion to cope with the everyday challenges of Alzheimer's, strokes, brain injuries and a growing number of catastrophic life events.
Do they have any idea how much they have inspired and enlightened me? How they've comforted others who face similar challenges?
"Thank you, Janice," I told the seagull flying overhead. "Merry Christmas."
Smiling, I then wondered how I would explain to Roger how his mom was up here visiting me while he was in Florida with the rest of the family. Oh well, she had always vowed she'd take me in the settlement if he and I ever divorced …
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